Scanxiety; Sun, Sea, Sand; and a Swim

I haven’t posted here in a while.  I have been recovering from the ileostomy op I had 8 weeks ago (I will allow the delights of being an ostomy newbie a post all to themselves), and getting on with radiotherapy, which was completed on the 30^th of June.

End of Treatment Bell

So radiotherapy is over.  I rang that bell and the first milestone on the road to recovery has been reached.  Congratulations! Yay! Go me! It felt great for a few days but then the side effects (severe abdominal cramps and nausea, which, when they hit, send me to bed with a hot water bottle and a bottle of liquid morphine) and the scanxiety kicked in. “Scanxiety?” I hear you ask… Yes it is a real word apparently, at least in the world of cancer patients and survivors, and presumably any patient whose treatment involves scans and the potential for less than good news.  Scanxiety is, as you would expect, the sense of uneasiness whilst waiting for the results from scans.  I have to wait 6-8 weeks, whilst the radiotherapy is still working its magic, before having scans that will show us if it has worked to shrink the tumour.  I say ‘if’ because there is always the possibility it hasn’t worked.  There is also the possibility that it has spread elsewhere in the meantime, or that the nodules on my lungs that were ‘indeterminate’ have grown and are now very much ‘determinate’.  I’m usually a pretty positive person, but I have to say I have been a little on edge trying not to imagine the worst. 

 

Sun, sea & eating sand

Anyway as a result I have been a bit lethargic and uninspired; but last Saturday I returned home from an unusually sunny family holiday, feeling refreshed and energised by sea swimming, sandcastle building and wildlife spotting! So energised in fact, I have signed up to do the Great Scottish Swim on August the 26^th.  In a moment of madness, I rationalised that training will keep me occupied and motivated in the coming weeks thus minimising said scanxiety, with the added bonus of raising money for a worthy cause! That’s the idea anyway; it could all go horribly wrong resulting in my having to be rescued, half-drowned from the middle of a freezing loch.  I used to be a fairly big swimmer, visiting the pool weekly plus donning a wetsuit for a wild swim at every opportunity, and have done the Great Swim in Windermere in the past.  However I haven’t been swimming, not counting taking the children for a splash about, for well over a year now; plus I can’t get through the day without morphine, so I think swimming half a mile presents a fairly decent challenge.  I had probably better get some training in!

Just one of the many...

I am going to be fundraising for Bowel Cancer UK.  A pretty obvious choice, I’m sure you’ll agree.  They do an amazing job supporting research into bowel cancer as well as campaigning for early diagnosis.  Their Never Too Young campaign, which aims to improve clinical practice and policy in the diagnosis and treatment of younger sufferers, particularly resonates with me due to the issues I had getting a diagnosis. I really hate asking people for money (so don’t make me!) but if you did fancy supporting me please check out my Just Giving page and donate (if you like) or share it with your friends and family (if you like). Either way thank you very very much!!

Great Scottish Swim - Loch Lomond